Hey, My Old Nose! And Some Necklaces I Still Wear.... →
Since No One Asked, I Shall Answer
Tomorrow, I will be dressing up as Food Bank volunteer me, followed by me at birth, followed by me at bedtime, unless the feller and I decide we’re going to go out to dinner or something, at which point I will dress as Evil Me going out to dinner, which is to say that I will put on the horns I bought at the Georgia Renaissance Fair(e?) circa 1996, which is basically my every year halloween...
Today was the sixth run in the feller’s and my Gratuitously Thorough Four-Mile Turkey Trot Training Plan, and it was two whole miles, and guess who did it all without wanting to pass out or quit?! ME! And also, more impressively, the feller. I am very proud of him, especially since he spent all day moving boats around, and I spent all day typing, so he was already kind of tired and agreed...
En Route To Williamsburg ON Halloween (Observed)
The L platform at 6th ave: a few cat costumes. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Cheese, Slush, Theater, Saturday
Well, for those of you who live under a rock, it is snowing here. I KNOW, RIGHT? So I did myself up in my sweateriest sweater dress and tightsiest tights and bootsiest boots and went out to the theater, and it took about 20 yards before my bootsiest boots sprung an ice-cold leak, but we’ll get to that in a bit. Also, did you know that my dad has an Aunt Bootsie? She might be dead, I am...
Things I Did Not Buy Futt For Her Birthday (Which...
Futt likes pop culture and wine, so you should get her this! Futt likes Harry Potter, being Jewish, and reading, so you should get her this! Futt likes purple and cooking, so you should get her this! Futt likes coffee and her “cousin” Max, so you should get her this! Futt likes cats and being warm in her sleep, so you should get her this! AM I FULL OF GREAT IDEAS OR WHAT? Do not...
Fast Times After Capeside High
Once upon a time (which is to say nine years ago, at the beginning of our sophomore year of college), Kathleen, her roommates and I embarked upon a short-lived but highly memorable tradition known as Dawson’s and Daquiris. As members of the high school class of 2001 and college class of 2005, we felt a special kinship with those rapscallions from the Creek, because they progressed through...
Futt and I have made a habit of buying three-packs of FreshDirect cheese pizzas. They live in our freezer, and they really do not taste like much. Which is why we do not ever put them in the oven without a little help. Today’s help: TJ’s Roasted Garlic Chicken Sausage sliced on half, sauteed brussel sprouts and feta on the whole thing. And it is delicious. Yay!
hellogiggles: Zooey singing the National Anthem perfectly. riabeaaar: A better version! Woohoo. Zooey is Awesome. I can no longer pretend I do not totally love everything about Zooey D. She is beyond triple threat. I don’t know what the third thing is yet, but whatever. Justin Timberlake better watch his ass. Also, someone should buy me this today, because it is almost November (f...
Things You Can Enjoy When You Are Unemployed
How good putting moisturizer on feels. Peanut M&Ms. Soy milk in your coffee. CROISSANTS. How this coffee shop always plays “My Sweet Lord” Getting the bench corner table at said coffee shop, which is in the back, but the internet is faster back there than it is at the big window table. Sleeping. Wearing what you feel like wearing. Window shopping, mostly, but also buying...
Well, the good news is that The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest does, in fact, get really good—about 52% of the way in, according to my Kindle. (As a reminder, Played With Fire) took a full 74% to kick into gear, so this is an improvement!) The bad news is that I hit 52% at about 11:30 last night, so I stayed up far too late reading, so I did not wake up at my previously appointed time,...
Nonsense Dream Summary
New Year’s Eve at a hotel In a black wool sleeveless maxi dress with beautiful pleats and fancy appliqué under a turquoise coat Missed most of dinner with pregnant-again Rachel Zoe and our (yes our) friends because my parents were in town and I accidentally showed my boobs to my [in real life soon-to-be married] just-married exboyfriend while trying on men’s swim trunks and had to...
This morning I volunteered at the NYC Food Bank from 10:30am until 2:30pm doing dinner prep. A four-hour shift, pretty short, but still, four straight hours on my feet, tossing around a few hundred pounds of chicken, peas, potatoes, juice, etc., on about half a cup of oatmeal, was tiring. So was surprising everyone with my Nicki Minaj skillz when “Monster” came on the radio. Anyway,...
Some of you may be wondering what I do on evenings when futt has plans and I have left the feller to his own devices. Apparently, I sit on my couch and play Angry Birds with the sound on.
Oh, Hello, Saddle. It Is Good To See You Again.
Last week, in an incredible feat of mind reading (really!), the feller’s mom texted me (really!) to ask if I’d be interested in running the local Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day with some of their relatives. I had actually been wondering if there was a little race of sorts in Memphis, where we’ll be spending Thanksgiving, so this was very exciting to me! A tiny, manageable,...
(Seriously, why aren’t they scouring the countryside for crossbows and...– Excerpt from an email from the feller, re: The Walking Dead, which I watched Season 1 of yesterday afternoon before taking in the record-shattering Season 2 premiere last night and then not being able to fall asleep due to the fact that his living room was 100% full of zombies as soon as the lights...
Can one of you track down an image of Carol Burnett, Tim Curry, and Bernadette Peters doing that kick line and make an “Occupy Easy Street” jpeg? Please?
Let's Talk About 2009, With Spoilers
First of all, I’m just assuming it was 2009. I don’t really remember when EVERYONE around me was eyebrow-deep in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, but there was a time. We all lived through it. You were probably one of those people reading it, and I wasn’t. I don’t remember why I wasn’t. The most likely reason is that I just wasn’t reading. I’ve mentioned...
Just As I Suspected
My friend Beyonce and I are the same height. Google it!
Show Me Your Turtlenecks, Internet*
I’ll show you mine later, as I have yet to get dressed. *Not a euphemism. Not not not a euphemism.
In 2007, I invented a salad. It consists of the following: - Some kind of greens - Chopped red onion (SUCK IT, SCOTT CONANT) - Crumbled feta cheese - Tomatoes - Trader Joe’s broccoli slaw - Potbelly’s hot peppers - Trader Joe’s corn salsa - Morningstar Farms buffalo “chicken” nuggets, chopped - Ranch dressing OR honey mustard I just made it in its complete...