November 2011
42 posts
Important Airplane Bathroom Revelation
I am sitting in the aft lavatory on our flight from Memphis to LGA, and I see myself in the mirror. I have the following thought progression:
1) Damn, my forehead wrinkles are totally out of control.
2) I should be less worried, or something.
3) What do Mom’s forehead wrinkles look like?
4) Huh. I have no idea.
5) Wait, why can’t I picture Mom’s forehead wrinkles??
6) … … …
7) AH. BANGS.
30+ years, explained.
W. W. Norton: Feast →
wwnorton.tumblr.com
—Let me taste
the kitchen in your skin.Now that company’s gone
& the kids are tucked in,
let the real feasting begin.Let me lay you out on the
bed like a spread of bonechina.—Yes, I want a
piece of you.
Yes, I do.Give me your garlic, and
the sting of your pepper.The plenty of…
You go, wwnorton tumblr, gettin all sexytimes for thanksgiving. You go.
Somehow, I Knew This Would Happen
Unemployment is finally going to be a thing of the past!
I have a flight to catch tomorrow!
I have a zillion errands to run today in advance of my job and my trip!
So obviously, I also have a sore throat, snothead, and the drip drip drip in the back of my throat.
Also obviously, I did not sleep at all last night because the tiniest scratch in my throat was enough to trigger travel/employment + illness anxiety. I just drifted off for about an hour and it was a delight. I guess I will try to do that again in a little while, maybe after some phone calls and breakfast. Oog.
Monday Tuesday Travel Eat Visit Visit Travel WORK!
I have spent the past 62 workdays not working. While y’all went 9-to-5ing, I did a little sleeping in, a little freelancing, a little volunteering, a lot of window shopping, a lot of reading, and a whole lot of never knowing what day it is.
But a week from tomorrow, I will go back to work! This is awesome! But it also means that I only have two more days of do-nothing weekdays, because the feller and I are going to (Graceland, Graceland) Memphis, TN on Wednesday, and we return on Sunday. So tomorrow and Tuesday are kind of a big deal for me—I’m heading to the Food Bank NYC for one last day of kitchen prep, getting my nails did (for the first time since I went from part-time to no-time), having some celebratory We-Got-(New)-Jobs drinks and dinners with friends… and then it’s over.
I’m really looking forward to relaxing in Memphis (not walking in Memphis) and starting work, but I sort of can’t believe my do-nothing days are so briefly numbered. 2011, you just keep getting differenter and differenter.
Uh
Plus a two dress, one sweater, one tights Modcloth order. SHH.
NOW I’M DONE.
Total Two-Day Intake
4 pants
4 sweaters
4 shirts
2 skirts
2 bras
1 pair boots
1 pair flats
You’re welcome, economy.
A Change Is Gonna Come
Hello, Internet!
Guess who has two thumbs, two cats, a low-grade Benefiber addiction, and, starting November 28, a NEW JOB?
I will tell you all about it when I can take a break from celebratory eating and shopping. Or not, actually, because that’s a hairy territory, but suffice to say, this lady is employed! In a position she’s THRILLED to accept!
Okay, time to go eat (more) and shop!
Cheers!
Benefiber and OJ
Benefiber and OJ
In Which My Friends And I Are All Equally Uncool
Amid the many reblogs of this image on my dash, which I did not get, I was quite pleased to find urlesque’s link that said, “if you don’t get it, click here.”
So I did!
And then I changed my Gchat status to, “currently experiencing “combination pizza hut and taco bell” for the first time. where have i been since 2008?”
Kathleen responded:
Kathleen: wow, really?
me: yes
Kathleen: those have been around for ages
not that i frequent them
in fact i try to avoid…
me: oh
ha
no
this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIt2CdbBo_w
Kathleen: i too am experiencing this for the first time
haha oops
me: hahaah
Technical Error?
So, if you actually go to the URL of my tumblr (http://zitsandwrinkles.tumblr.com), that last post appears to be a chat between “Yo” and “Yo” instead of “COSTAS” and “SANDUSKY.” But in RSS readers, it’s normal.
Oh, new theme. You are buggy.
- COSTAS: It seems that if all of these accusations are false, you are the unluckiest and most persecuted man that any of us has ever heard about.
- SANDUSKY: (laughs) I don't know what you want me to say. I don't think that these have been the best days of my life.
- --
- I'm prettttttty sure he wanted you to think about how pathetic and absurd your proclaimed innocence sounds when a bunch of different people, over many years, have reported seeing you raping/touching/"horsing around with" naked boys. Must be a huge conspiracy against you, Jer. Can't possibly be that you are actually a pedophile and uncontrollable child molester.
- Gross. Also, have you seen him talk? Like in old video interviews? He's got a terrifying mouth. Long, pointy horror movie teeth. Creeptastic.
And
(The thing I hate the most about the holiday season is people who let their holiday happies be ruined by “Happy Holidays” AND people who let their holiday happies be ruined by “Merry Christmas.” Both of these groups of people are stupid. Can’t we all just agree that what everybody is saying to each other is really, “Hey! I wish you well in this season of eating, gifting, and being with people you like and don’t like!” which is really what we should be saying to each other all the time anyway? Who gives a shite about whether the person you’re talking to remembers that it’s Christmas or Kwanzaa or Flag Day? It’s HAPPY. It’s a HOLIDAY. Get your head out of your ass.)
