March 2011
164 posts
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Public Service Announcement
ATTENTION, EVERYONE.
THE PAST TENSE OF THE VERB LEAD IS LED.
LEAD, AS IN, “YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER.” YOU LED THAT HORSE TO WATER.
YES, THE METAL, LEAD, IS PRONOUNCED THE SAME WAY. BUT THE METAL, LEAD, IS A DIFFERENT WORD THAN THE PAST TENSE OF THE VERB LEAD, WHICH IS LED.
Excellent Surprise!
I have absolutely no idea how Florence and the Machine’s “Dog Days Are Over” got into my work iTunes (a library of 102 songs, many of which are LCD Soundsystem or misc uploaded/downloaded free stuff—I usually just Pandora at work), but I just located it there, and I am SO PLEASED. It is going to get me through the ridiculous document I am editing!
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How To Get Dressed For A Concert Without Seats, If...
So, you’re going to a hip concert tonight? It’s General Admission and there are no seats? AND you’re a sort of grumpy old person, either for real or just on the inside? Then you have come to the right place!
When your much cooler friend tells you that the concert is at a venue without seats, the first thing you hear, I know, is “Your old self will be standing up on a...
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Please Enjoy This Cautionary Tale, Sent To Me By... →
Maybe My Brain Has Come Down With Earworms...
shorterexcerpts:
Sometimes, I’ll start a sentence and my brain will take over and send things in a different direction. Mid-sentence. Especially if I’m talking out loud (if you lived in a 1 bedroom you’d do it too. It’s also a great way to practice accents that would just get me confused looks if I had a roommate or did it in front of guests.)
Either way, I just said the following as I was...
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gifparty:
Also, this.
Most Pleasing Noise Of The Day
When the ice in your glass melts to the point where it falls and readjusts itself and makes that nice soft tinkling noise on its own. It’s like afternoons in the south by the pool. Or afternoons in NoHo at my desk, whatever. Sigh.
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Comically Behind the Times As Ever
My crash course in LCD Soundsystem in preparation for tomorrow’s concert continues apace. I rarely work for an album’s length of time without having to take off my headphones, so I am not as far along as I would like, but yesterday I decided to move on to “This is Happening,” and I am terribly fond of “Drunk Girls.” Which is probably the most accessible song in...
Highly Satisfying Beginnings
It took me 20 extra random minutes to get out of the house this morning, for no reason at all, so I hustled like a madwoman to the train, where I executed a PERFECT body-fling into the closing doors. I LEAPT, and I made it, and it was a tiny MTA victory. Bring it, humpday.
Go!
UPTOWN for tri practice
DOWNTOWN for becca’s birthday
UPTOWN for home.
Hasta mañana, Internet!
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Really Fun!
When you write two mushy posts about your mushy feelings about stupid love, and the next email you receive is from someone you have been on one date with, and he is emailing to tell you that he found all your internet places and references a tweet from Saturday.* Despite the fact that somewhere, Mom is saying I TOLD YOU SO ABOUT ALL THIS INTERNET BUSINESS, I am actually okay with this. This, I...
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Further Thoughts And Clarifications On That Last...
When I say “it was true about me,” and “it is true again now,” I am referring to looking for ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, stupid love. And when I said, “oh man, am I there now,” I mean the same thing (in other words, no, I do not mean I have achieved it). Trust me, when I am in love, you will be the first to know. Well, second.
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It Is Embarrassing That I Was Able To Google This...
I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love. And I don’t think that love is here in this expensive suite in this lovely hotel in Paris.
- Yeah, Carrie Bradshaw, in the series finale, whatever, don’t be an asshole about it.
Because incidentally, it was true about me (you know, sans the expensive suite in...
On That Lost Snake
I just hope that it recently told someone it had never seen Brazil and is now happily on its way.
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The Only Thing I Can Say About This Is OH GOD, NO.
This is not me.
Y’ALL. MY BROTHER FOUND THIS. I PROMISE IT IS NOT ME.
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Annie Hall
It’s on TCM right now. Okay, I have seen this movie half a dozen times. At the very least. The last time I saw it was probably like, four years ago? I’m not sure. I always liked it, but either I got smarter or I was never paying attention before, because everything about this dead on. Awkward date banter has not changed in 34 years. Awkward relationship banter has not changed in 34...
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It's That Time Of The Month!
The time when I insist upon grossing out all of my girlfriends by talking about THE DIVACUP basically nonstop. Get one! You will love it only slightly less than you love your iPhone and your Kindle! You will also cease to be grossed out! {This concludes my public hollering about Ladybusiness. Ask me if you want more info.}
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And Here Is The Actual Link To The Actual Artist's...
INTERNET RIGHTS, HOLLA!
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Endless Love
Today at Whole Foods, I bought some Applegate Farms Organic Hot Dogs. Then I came home and promptly boiled one up, put it on a slice of wheat bread with some mayo and mustard and wrapped it in a piece of deli-sliced American cheese. It was fucking delicious. I recommend this. That is all.
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So Inappropriate
Oh you know, just bopping down to my running practice to a poppy late-90s tune about meth.
Seriously, who let us listen to this as teenagers? And on Atlanta radio in the 90s, they bleeped totally arbitrary parts—not, for instance, “doin crystal meth’ll lift you up until you break.”
So strange. What an awesome song. Okay, running now.
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Loss, Recovery
THIS morning I scooted across town super early to give blood! For myself. It really sorta made me feel like a schmo, in the donation center surrounded by big THANK YOU signs, and then I remembered that that thing I am doing is going to be way harder than giving blood and potentially more life-saving, so I felt like less of a schmo and ate another Oreo. Anyway, I had never given blood. Ever. I make...
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"30 Rock"
(LIZ enters the offices of "The Sing-Off" and sits next to... someone familiar.)
SORKIN: You here for the "Sing-Off" gig?
LIZ: Yeah. (Beat.) Do I know you?
SORKIN: You know my work. (Gets up.) Walk with me.
(They walk. And talk!)
AARON: I'm Aaron Sorkin. "The West Wing," "A Few Good Men," "The Social Network" --
LIZ: "Studio 60"?
SORKIN: Shut up. You know Nick Lachey? I hear he doesn't even let you sit for a meeting -- he just screams at you to see how you react.
LIZ: Wait. You're not really applying for this job, are you?
SORKIN: Of course I am -- you gotta take work where you can find it, especially now. Our craft is dying while people are playing "Angry Birds" and poking each other on Facebook. What is "poking" anyway? Why won't anybody do it to me? I'm cool!
LIZ: So it's really that bad out there? I mean, you're Aaron Sorkin! Speaking of Angry Birds, do you know how to beat 11-4? It's just a green guy and a red guy.
SORKIN: Key is to not use the green guy as a boomerang.
(They sit back down.)
LIZ (confused): Did we just go in a circle?
SORKIN: Listen, lady -- a gender I write extremely well if the story calls for it -- this is serious: we make horse buggies, and the first Model-T just rolled into town.
LIZ: We're dinosaurs.
SORKIN: We don't need two metaphors -- that's bad writing. Not that it matters.
P.A. (from inside doorway): Mr. Sorkin? Mr. Lachey will see you now.
(SORKIN gets up and walks into office, then, obsequiously: )
SORKIN: Mr. Lachey? Huge fan, huge fan! I have all your albums.
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Activity Series I Have Executed Countless Times...
Return to desk from bathroom/kitchen/meeting/whatever.
Without turning head, eyeball cell phone on desk.
Reach over, push button on phone.
Take in blank screen, indicating no texts received.
Make this noise: Pfffff.
Return hands and eyeballs to computer screen, resume semi-productivity.
Admittedly, I was doing this because that dude I am impatient to have text me DID text me this...
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The Best News In The World, Period, The End
Potbelly Sandwich Works in New York City
I can’t even pontificate on this yet. I am too busy FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT.
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So Many Things About This Are Infuriating. I Do... →
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Crash Course
Look, I am supremely uncool. This I know.
So the fact that Futt is taking me to next Thursday’s LCD Soundsystem show at Terminal 5 is a huge reflection on how cool SHE is. Another reason she is cool: she hooked me up with their albums. I know that LCD Soundsystem is very cool, and that in all likelihood, I will really like their music.
So, I have 7 days to take my familiarity with them...
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Morning In The Garden Of Good And Evil
As we have established, I have kind of a mess of hair. It is short, it is curly. I often braid back the front of it, especially in weather like yesterday’s, to keep it from being totally unruly and absurd looking. I also often just leave that braid in at bedtime, because I am lazy, and because it makes absolutely no difference in what my hair will look like in the morning. So last night,...
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OH OH THERE THEY ARE
WTF, Tumblr?
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Vanishing Act
Um, I posted two things in the last 15 minutes from my phone. They appeared in my feed on my phone. And now they are gone. There was a GPOYW in the sleet and some musical theater affirmations. Aren’t you sad you missed them?
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Non-Deepak Affirmation
I am a good person
I’m an attractive person
I am a talented person
{Busy day. Meetings, boredom, head explosions, beautiful pictures of Liz Taylor, theater tickets. Maybe tomorrow I’ll actually be productive AND social, neither of which I accomplished very well today.}
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The Twitter Account
tubbytricia:
So I posted (mostly) everything I ate on Twitter for over a month! Here’s what I learned:
Snacking is not my issue. I think that’s why food journals help people, but I am not one of them. I think Pringles are gross, I almost broke up with Michael for eating Cheetos in my car (okay not really, but seriously! SICK.) I don’t get all that hungry during the day, and I’m not much of an...
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We Are Too Clever For Words
Brian is in Europe with his family. He is the genius with the NY Phil subscription who rallied us to buy our Company tickets super early.
Brian: while collecting my shit out of my copenhagen hotel room en route to barcelona, i read an email that said christina hendricks is in company me: yes she is. she’s april. Brian: i dont remember which one that is me: where ya goin, brian?...
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Tick Tock Guhhhh
I am the world’s most impatient dater.
I went on a good date last night. Pretty normal, a few drinks, a walk, good conversation. No funny business, healthy flirting, whatever. Discussion of activity-specific future plans. A few texts after I got home.
He updated his profile today to reflect something we talked about.
So um, when’s he gonna text me? When’s he gonna text me?...
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Thing I Just Said Aloud to Meg
“His name sounds like a D-level character in Steel Magnolias. I mean, Darryl Hannah’s baby at the end of Steel Magnolias could actually be “Li’l Wayne.”“
- On how I get distracted by the fact that Li’l Wayne should be the name of a redneck’s baby
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In Case You Have Not Heard
Christina Hendricks is playing April in Company at the Phil next month. Yes, that thing I can’t shut up about JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER. Which one’s April, you ask?
Oh. Yes.
