Things I Wrote In Sharpie On A Clipboard I Used...
but you… you said you’d wait Until the End of the World… IS IT ALWAYS OR? IS IT NEVER AND? All you need is love the ground beneath her feet Safe from the pain She moves in mysterious ways Not this heart… ithwama, id Boring — So, once a nerd, always a nerd, if a slightly less emo nerd. And I wish I’d actually written my thoughts/feelings out,...
I am so hung over that hearing hurts. Hearing. I think I did that right, the reunion thing. Now excuse me, I have to go because the sound of my thumbs tapping my phone screen is excruciating. I wonder if I can go to Waffle House in silencing headphones.
In case you were curious, I tuned into the wedding just at the Queen’s arrival, right before Kate got in the car, and I tuned out before the homily to head to the airport. I did not find it EXCITING, but I thought it was beautiful, everything about it. I’m not super into weddings (more of a babies gal, m’self), but this just hit all the right notes in my head. But heightened,...
Getting My Hair Cut In Atlanta
On the Occasion of the Marriage of Catherine...
sarahbethlibrarian: In news to no one, the Royal Wedding is tomorrow. I, like pretty much everyone I know and have ever met who is a lady or a gay or lives with a lady, will be waking up at 330 am to watch coverage with Robin Roberts, Baba Wawa and India I’m-more-than-just-Diana’s-Bridesmaid-I’m-also-521st-in-Line-to-the-Throne Hicks. I’ll wear my purchased-in-England fascinator and sip my...
"You Know, Even Though I Had To Wear That Stupid...
In 1997, when I was fourteen, “Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion” came out, and it was pretty much the best thing to happen since “Wayne’s World.” My friends and I soaked the whole hilarious thing up. We learned the dance they do at the club. We quoted it relentlessly. My dad yelled at me once to stop saying a semi-Canadian, superdefensive...
yodelmachine: I’m helping Other Gay Abby pass her English class. Will you? Y’all, am I the Only Straight Abby on the internet?
Please Click Here And Enjoy GQ's Trapezoid/Pyramid... →
I mean, it is a pyramid. (via sarahbethlibrarian)
I Made A Somewhat Topical Someecard. I Hope You... →
This Week In Uncool Songs
I am one of those people who either listens to An Album or just clicks shuffle and lets my iPhone have its way with me. Her way, I guess, since technically, her name is Liz Lemon, but that’s a different story. Anyway, one day a few weeks ago, it played Dashboard Confessional’s “Hands Down” off the So Impossible EP for the first time in, I dunno, like a year? I am not a...
Dave Weigel On Crazies And How Their Inability To... →
Do you ever have those days when you look around your train car, and you realize that everyone around you is just BUSTED? Like that the pregnant lady is actually about 15 and the woman with the Barnes & Noble tote has creepy bright red ironed-out hair with 3 inches of gray/baldness roots, and the guy next to you has a nasty stain on his jeans, and the guy by the door doesn’t have any...
In the Ongoing Battle of Women Who Write, Here Are... →
sarahbethlibrarian: As a librarian, I pay a lot of attention to what I read and what I suggest my friends and patrons read. I try to look across gender lines and class lines and color lines and international borders, when I can. But I have a girlfriend whose favorite is Emily Giffen, and she is in law school and reads only a handful of books a year, so I suggest to her other Emily Giffen-like...
Hey, mister! Thanks for the nice email, but we are not going to go on a date.
I could get a half hour of sleep, be woken up by an insanely loud crashing noise in the apartment next door (the wall behind my headboard, the apartment that shares the fire escape with my bedroom) and drift back off just in time for the police to arrive, because that was the sound of the occupants’ window AC unit falling INTO their bedroom (while they were in the living room) by means...
Parenthood Season Finale
Total uterus explosion. Also, tears. Many, many tears.
ATTENTION, NEW YORK
Go the fuck outside.
What is your Royal Wedding guest name? Start with...
shorterexcerpts: tumbologna: fauxprose: Lady Ruth Spanky-Dalewood LOLno. Lady Vera Moondoggie-Currywood. Please refer to me as this from here on out. Lord Edwin Midnight-Rogers. May as well be a character in Downtown Abbey fanficiton… Lady Beatrice Buttons-Springs, at your service.
Note To Self
Just because you stayed awake and felt good from 9am to 6pm today does not mean that an hour and a half nap is enough to prop you up through 9pm pasta and a glass and a half of wine. Wooze. Yawn. Bedtime NOW.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS!
Excellent pre-dinner activity! Thank you, abc.
Chris Kelly: Dear School Teachers In Tennessee...
chriskelly: Hi, Chris Kelly here. I don’t know if you heard, but the Tennessee Senate just voted 6-3 to ban use of the words “gay” and “homosexual” in your public schools. I know this must be a huge blow for you, because now you might have an awkward 60-90 minute hole in your lesson plans each day where you once used to talk about the history of homosexuality for a half hour before lining up...
Things I Have Been Good At This Week
Eating. Seriously, my appetite is out of control. Was it the prescription painkiller? Was it the anesthesia wearing off? Is it my body being like REPLENISH ME, BITCH, NOW? I do not know. But I am eating like 5+ meals a day, 2 of which have been red meat. Oh god, now I’m hungry. Sleeping. Really, it is embarrassing. But I guess my body is working really hard to get its act together, so...
I’m glad y’all like my PJs. I like them, too. Futt and Nicole gave them to me. They are pretty swell friends, y’all. To answer your questions, yes, they are flannel. No, they did not come with clues, so the urge to fill them in is minimal. Also, I used to own these shoes, many moons ago, and they were the best shoes ever, until, like all Chuck Taylors, their foundational...
Drink alcohol. Quite a bit. Mostly bourbon.– Alex Balk, the Michael Pollan of inebriation. (via lazybookreviews)
One or two times a year, something happens to me that makes me want to quote the silliest line of “Shakespeare in Love,” a movie I unabashedly love but haven’t seen in a really long time. No matter! It stuck with me. After Hot Joe Fiennes deflowers Our Gal Gwynny in one of the most lyrical, romantical deflowerages of the 90s film canon (as I recall, again, it’s been a...
Um, Further Thoughts on That Previous Post
The point of it was: I don’t want any medical professionals doing what they think Jesus would do. I want them doing what THEY would do, with their years of experience and education!
Disconcerting on medical professionals, because I am fairly certain Jesus did not have the level of expertise that these people do. Or wait, is that the point? I don’t know. Spoiler alert: I guess I prefer training over inexplicable powers.
I Am Trying To Break Your Heart: Tina Fey's A... →
jas508: The Mother’s Prayer for Its Daughter Tina Fey from her new book Bossypants, 2011 First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy… Brilliance.
What I absolutely wanted to do today was get out of warm, wonderful, happy bed at 8am to put on tights and go to a work-related thing. Not that it won’t be interesting! It will be interesting, it just won’t be bed.
Now that I am home and checking out my eyelashes pic on my computer screen: Can somebody photoshop out the bags under my eyes? I gotta plan my weeks better/sleep more/wear some makeup on occasion if imma let Futt take well-lit Friday night pictures of me.