Saturn returned to bite me in the ass.
Means I no longer have any idea as to what’s going on on the Internet.
Do you know what happened today? I didn’t login to Facebook. Not once. And I didn’t even realize it till just now. But when was I gonna do that? During my all-day meetings? During my precious, stolen moments between them, when I read and respond to my WORK EMAIL? During the 10 minutes in which I scarfed down a BLT while I read Amanda Dobbins’ Downton Abbey recap on nymag AFTER reading the dozen work-relevant newsletters I get every day?
So what happens is, I guess, I think I dream about the Internet. Last week I dreamt that I was driving underwhelmed’s kids to school. Have i ever seen them? Of course not. They were cute in my dream. Also we went to a sporting goods store, surprise! Then the next night I dreamt I went on a road trip with yodelmachine and frageelay, stupon, and their kids. In snow. To Lizzie Caplan’s wedding, where Lizzie Caplan TURNED OUT TO BE GEBHART.
It’s a lot of weird in my head, y’all.
Anyway, the point is, I miss knowing what’s going on on the Internet, but HOLY TOLEDO do I love my completely bonkers job. I am so busy. Learning is exhausting, and so is accepting the confidence to know I’m getting the hang of it, and so is the trusting myself to pull the triggers and make things go.
How lucky am I to have this? Massively lucky. Fortunate. I am slowly becoming a part of the thing I’ve loved most for most of my life. It blows my mind every day that I do this.
I have a long, long way to go and no final destination. Just miles and years of possibility. The industry changes, but it will always be here, and there will always be people who love it. And because I’m those people, ONLY because I’m those people, do I have absolutely no guilt about missing the internet. I do miss you, Internet, but having a real job doing something I love is like somebody lit a pleasant fire under my ass—I hustle on, but it’s grudgeless, almost painless, totally inspiring.
And y’all, I just do the MARKETING.