Zits & Wrinkles

@abbyjaye, semi-surviving an extended Saturn Return.


Funny or Die/Onion News Network's Chris Kelly Hired as a Writer at SNL | Splitsider »




Absolutely no one deserves this more than Chris does! I cannot wait to see what he puts together. (Fingers crossed for Aunt Diane.)

Seconding everything Scollins said! Genius genius genius hire for SNL. Also, this means Chris is coming back to NYC, so that’s a goddamn win.

Awesome, awesome stuff. Congrats to Chris!

Hello, hi, amazingsauce. Congrats indeed!!!

"When the show went to No. 1 in December 1988, ABC sent a chocolate “1” to congratulate me. Guess they figured that would keep the fat lady happy—or maybe they thought I hadn’t heard (along with the world) that male stars with No. 1 shows were given Bentleys and Porsches. So me and George Clooney [who played Roseanne Conner’s boss for the first season] took my chocolate prize outside, where I snapped a picture of him hitting it with a baseball bat. I sent that to ABC." »

I am aware that I am the 9 zillionth person to suggest that you read Roseanne Barr’s incredible piece in this week’s NYMag about sexism, fame and how fucked up Hollywood is, but I just can’t not share it. It’s brilliant and terrifying.

Did I Say A Sketch About Farts?

Because what I meant was, “A Sketch About Farts And Making Out.”

Thoughts on the process:

  1. When the words that make the idea real start coming out, they really start coming out, and whoa, I am typing and it might be kind of funny! But then I get anxious about moving onto the next scene (this particular assignment involves a multi-scene sketch) and I stop to do things like write notes to my friends and dick around on tumblr.
  2. It takes longer than expected. I was warned of this by our teacher (who, by the way, got a shout-out on The Daily What today), and it still takes longer than I expected it to take after adding time to my expectations. Accordingly, I am going to be doing this at times that I do not want to be, like tomorrow night and Wednesday night, possibly in bed. Possibly also Thursday in the half-hour before class starts, since the likelihood that I will do it Tuesday or Wednesday night in bed is s-l-i-m.
  3. I don’t really have a third thing, but I am so heavily conditioned to Rule of Threes that I had to type this.

Thirty more minutes of farts and making out, then bedtime.

To differentiate that from my average Monday night, I guess I should say: thirty more minutes of writing about farts and making out. THEN bedtime.