Miscellaneous Things I Am Pleased With, Written In A Taxi In Traffic On the Kosciuszko Bridge

- That I can stand up and sit down in an airline seat without bracing myself on the seat of the person in front of me. I think this is a skill that all people who are not wearing babies should have, and I also think it is basic human courtesy, but we know how I feel about what happens to basic human courtesies on airplanes.

- That Charlie is not a person who watches 24. I never did, and I just don’t have the mental space for it, and it’s a relief to not have that pressure right now.

- Sikhs. Especially my lovely taxi driver. Sikhs are the best.

- That I like my friends’ babies almost as much as I like my friends, which is really saying something, because most of these friends have like 10-25 years of goodwill going for them in my book, and their babies have like, 7 weeks to 20 months (to be kind of specific).

- That I threatened, via Facebook, to use farts as a weapon, and my mom didn’t text me that it might be a bad career move (long story).

- New York, generally.

- Atlanta, generally.

Did I Say A Sketch About Farts?

Because what I meant was, “A Sketch About Farts And Making Out.”

Thoughts on the process:

  1. When the words that make the idea real start coming out, they really start coming out, and whoa, I am typing and it might be kind of funny! But then I get anxious about moving onto the next scene (this particular assignment involves a multi-scene sketch) and I stop to do things like write notes to my friends and dick around on tumblr.
  2. It takes longer than expected. I was warned of this by our teacher (who, by the way, got a shout-out on The Daily What today), and it still takes longer than I expected it to take after adding time to my expectations. Accordingly, I am going to be doing this at times that I do not want to be, like tomorrow night and Wednesday night, possibly in bed. Possibly also Thursday in the half-hour before class starts, since the likelihood that I will do it Tuesday or Wednesday night in bed is s-l-i-m.
  3. I don’t really have a third thing, but I am so heavily conditioned to Rule of Threes that I had to type this.

Thirty more minutes of farts and making out, then bedtime.

To differentiate that from my average Monday night, I guess I should say: thirty more minutes of writing about farts and making out. THEN bedtime.