Zits & Wrinkles

This morning, on my way off the train, I thought to myself, “Now that I’m more sane more of the time, I should probably see if I can’t get back to blogging.” 

I think the fact that I had this thought at a time while not sitting a computer bodes well. And then I got a facebook message from a high school friend regarding something I’d written on facebook, and she mentioned enjoying my old blogspot blog a zillion years ago, and I thought, yes, okay, this is a thing. I am going to do this. It might only be weekly, but I am going to do this. I still don’t think I can keep up with the tumblr community the way I used to, but putting things up and out there, that I can do. 

For now, to whet your appetites, those of you who are still out there subscribed to this sucker, here’s that thing I wrote on facebook. May 9 marked the twelve-year anniversary of one of my close high school friends’ suicides. As usual, I sort of ruminated on it all day. To boot, a number of my friends have very recently experienced loss of a loved one or had some scary medical things going on. So I posted the following on facebook, in memory of my friend Linda and in celebration of… well, everything we can and do for each other these days: 

There’s a lot of stuff we didn’t have 12 years ago that we’re all real happy about, my generation. We say what disasters we’d have been on facebook at 16, what texting would have done to our high school lives, and how glad we are that we weren’t put up against shit like ‘16 & Pregnant’ and the Jersey Shore to test our mettle. But the more I’ve thought about it today, the better I feel about current kids. They’re dealing with million-mile-per-hour lives and facebook bullying and pressure and totally horrific influences as best they can, and the internet is teaching them and letting them teach us how to mobilize, see one another as humans, and care better. They have, out loud, what we didn’t have 12 years ago, an It Gets Better Project, To Write Love On Her Arms., etc. We only had each other, and we sometimes failed each other. But when I think about kids today and the hopeful, meaningful resources they have, I feel good. I feel like the future is okay. And if you’re 16 or 60, tell your friends how much you love them.

I’ve written less schmaltzy things in my day, but it was late, and this felt right. Anyway, thanks for being the internet, internet.

Yes, internet and friends, one year ago YESTERDAY, I made this place up. I posted about Saturn Returns and what I was doing. The next day I put up the picture of my parents that pretty much covers everything you could ever need to know about who I am. I posted 68 times last December, and this December, I have posted thrice. With this, fource. Since December 13 of last year, I went on vacation, I went to weddings, I fell in love, I lost my job, I went to weddings, I went to Maine, I went to the Hamptons, I went to weddings, I buddied up with the Food Bank of NYC, I went to weddings, I got a job and a haircut (picture forthcoming), and here I am. I have one more wedding this year, so expect some dispatches from San Francisco in the coming days. But here are some pictures I have taken in recent weeks that I find enjoyable:

So, if you actually go to the URL of my tumblr (http://zitsandwrinkles.tumblr.com), that last post appears to be a chat between “Yo” and “Yo” instead of “COSTAS” and “SANDUSKY.” But in RSS readers, it’s normal. 

Oh, new theme. You are buggy.

I have just realized that many of my posts have way more notes than I can see. Can anyone explain this? Why does my dash say I have 6 notes on a post where I can only see, say, 2?

- Well, I was going to try to not sit on my couch all week. This would obviously mean sitting in a chair nearby, but you know what I mean. Not settling into the hole I am burning here. Anyway, I am writing this FROM the couch, so I guess I blew it. Maybe next week. Or maybe I will just pick a day. That’s a good idea. I will start with a day. One day this week, I will not sit on the couch. Day TBD.

- Take everything out of my dresser. Get rid of the things I haven’t worn in a year. Do a preliminary summer-to-winter content swap.

- Forget how bad I was at 9th grade physics and understand sailing physics. Read that page of the Annapolis Book of Seamanship with the points of sail on it as many times as necessary and understand it. Preferably do this in the sun.

- Go back to Trader Joe’s when no one else is there, because that is the best thing about unemployment.

- Do that yoga DVD Nicole gave me. Every day!

- Continually apply for awesome jobs, obviously.  

- Send inspirational emails to newly funemployed friend Leah.

I was too busy surviving a long day-o-wedding in New Jersey with the feller. But how nice for the new couple that their anniversary is Beyonce’s birthday! It makes it way easier for them to remember.

The feller’s close friend from college got married at 11:30am yesterday to his lovely lady. The feller was a groomsman, his first wedding party participation as an adult, and I was a lowercase-g guest, which, after the year and a half of wedding-going I’ve experienced, was a delight! He was tuxed and out the door at 8:15am, and I got to sit around watching the Duggers and Sex Change Hospital on some b-level Discovery Channel in the hotel room for a few hours. Also, I’m sure the Duggars are thrilled that they are followed by Sex Change Hospital on Sunday mornings.

The wedding was outdoors and lovely, and we went on to enjoy a delightful reception and many g&ts. After a nap (ha), the afterparty lasted, for us, until about 9:30pm, fueled by more drinks and some emergency pizza that we all half-regretted.

Anyway, labor day came and went, so to speak. Summer was bookended by weddings and full of sundresses, iced coffee, the hamptons, maine, rosé and love. Life is good, y’all. Happy fall. 

Mostly in NYC, we were afraid the power would go out. This is kind of a funny thing for me, because growing up in Atlanta, the power went out ALL THE FLIPPIN’ TIME. But in New York, a lifetime later, you realize things like:

- I do not own a single candle other than the dusty Christmas-scented one that I light once a year. Well, I guess I own some chanukah candles somewhere, but how the F am I supposed to find them in the dark when the power goes out?

- If the power goes out, the internet won’t work because the router won’t be on. IF THE INTERNET DOESN’T WORK AND THE TV DOESN’T WORK, HOW WILL WE KNOW WE’RE GONNA DIE? Oh right, a battery-operated radio.

- I DON’T OWN A RADIO! Gaaaah!! Except I do. Because I had a lot of trouble parting with my 1997-ish yellow plastic Sony Walkman, and it has a radio. It got me through high school P.E., it can weather a storm.

- Flashlights? I’m supposed to have flashlights, too? But all I have are these little pinchy LED things from the beach resorts we go to. That’ll do.

Then there’s all that noise about filling up the bathtub and buying nonperishables. So now we own a ton of granola bars, and the feller and I consumed an entire loaf of store-bought challah between Saturday night and Sunday morning (grilled cheeses and french toast), all of which Futt was nice enough to pick up for us on Friday, because we somewhat foolishly decided on Thursday that we should go to the Hamptons. We came back on Friday night.

The whole thing, for the City proper, was a very silly exercise. It was important that we were all indoors, because it was very windy, and there was much debris. It was important to evacuate the low-lying areas because they DID flood. It was important to shut down the subway some ,because it was very windy and very rainy, two things that royally F up the trains (remember that time in 2007 when the trains flooded? that was not a fun day). But I’m pretty sure all New Yorkers had Moments Of Terror and bought actual tons of flashlights, radios, granola bars, bottled water, peanut butter, jerky, bananas, duct tape for their windows (not a thing—taping your windows does not keep them from breaking, that is a myth, Ann Taylor LOFT on Broadway, DVF in the meatpacking district, and all the stores in-between), and Scrabble. And none of that was really necessary, except, obviously, the Scrabble.

But hey, nonperishables are nonperishables and emergency supplies are emergency supplies. So let’s not throw out our new flashlights and old radios the next time we move, and maybe we can all turn into those people from whatever church that is who hand out granola bars at train stations taped to fliers about Jesus. Except we can make our fliers about other things. Like our blogs, or how we need new jobs, or where one can find pictures of our cats on the internet.

Just some ideas.

Let’s talk about working from home. No, wait—let’s talk about high school first:

In high school, I would come home and do my quantitative homework immediately (and by “immediately,” I mean “after play practice,” duh). That’s problem sets, worksheets, finite stuff I had to fill out or hand back in. Then I’d talk on the phone or on sturdy old AIM for hours, eat dinner somewhere in there, and then I’d eventually think about the qualitative pieces of homework, like reading and paper-writing. Was the reading for a history, science, or social studies class? Yes? Then I didn’t do it. Was the paper due tomorrow? No? Then I didn’t even think about starting.

I didn’t start working on a paper before the night before it was due until probably my late sophomore or junior year of college. My professors probably knew this. And then, in my professional life, I had to learn how to do it all over again, only I couldn’t stay up till 3am kicking myself for not starting earlier, I had to actually get it done in the hours I was in an office.

So! Now that I’m out of an office but still working, how am I doing?

It’s hard, y’all. I try to structure my days around existing appointments (work meetings, doctors, grocery delivery, cat medicine distribution {oh, we’ll get there, don’t worry}), but without real time limits and the necessity of real pants wearing, buckling down and working is very difficult. So I’ve tried to minimize distraction by keeping the heck off tumblr. But that still leaves me plenty of time to:

1. Nap
2. Discover turntable.fm (generally speaking, I preside over http://turntable.fm/nerds_just_wanna_have_fun, but sometimes I wander)
3. Hard-boil eggs
4. Make and consume semi-fancy breakfasts and turkey sandwiches
5. Drink coffee

Forced concentration was never my forte, but when I get in the zone I stay there. My zone time is very valuable these days, as my current and potential future employment relies on it. Hence, a little distance from the internet. I have not forgotten you!

But y’all, the zone! The zone is magical. There is something so satisfying about looking up and realizing you’ve been nose-to-the-grindstone accomplishing things for hours with minimal distraction and largely unbroken concentration. And this is how I know that even though there are days I don’t want to work, I’m not just some layabout who doesn’t EVER want to work (see: MTV’s “True Life: I’m A Sugar Baby,” which I watched last week while cat-sitting). I like work! I like accomplishment! I like feeling capable and smart and like I’m an expert at something other than feline medication distribution and amateur egg-boiling. 

So I guess this is growing up: satisfaction by professional accomplishment rather than social. I’ll take it.

Should we talk about Friday now? Let’s talk about Friday.

On Friday I got to work and was told that my position is losing some of its duties and being shifted, as of 7/1, to a 3 day a week role. The tasks I’m losing are, to me, the most interesting parts of my job; the tasks I’m keeping are the parts I get less joy from but am really, exceptionally good at. The position stays benefited, but the prospect of shifting to hourly pay and losing two days of it at that means that I have some thinking to do: I’m deciding whether I will stay on for the three days and find something awesome to also do part-time or get a new full-time job. Fortunately, my boss and the powers that be are pretty patient about this, but it’s a big choice. I’ve never worked part-time before. I don’t even know where to start looking.

I know what I wouldn’t want to do in those other two days (the same thing I’d be doing the three current-job days: grantwriting), but I don’t even know what’s out there in terms of freelancey/part time offerings in what I would want to be doing (communications/social media/PR for creative/arts orgs, for profit or not). Do y’all have any ideas?

Soooo, hey y’all! Today I got home and found a new follower! Say hello, learningtolive86! You are really funny, and so are your misadventures in dating and the internet, akin to all of the other hilarious tumblrs committed to same.

Speaking of which, Have y’all noticed how I kinda shut the fuck up about that recently? And how I’ve been a little low on original content? And I keep doing things like this and this? And hell, even this? Yeah, what does all that read like to you? Like maybe I’m some nerd who’s been spending a lot of her time being a big happy doofus with a crush on some other nerd who seems to be totally okay with that and in fact has been participating in said doofusery? Yeah, I thought so.

Anyway, that is all the information you get for now, internet. There is some happy, and it involves me and a fellow. And I am focusing on the happy, because sometimes you’re down and sometimes you’re up, so I’m gonna own this up and go have dinner with my girlfriends. And I’m gonna hope I have not embarrassed him too much with this post. :)

Remember when I used to generate content? Like over the weekend? Those were the days, right guys?

This is the busy busy busiest week of the year here at work, so I am a little distracted from my usual distractions. I knew it was bad when my mom asked me on the phone today, “Didn’t you see my tweet?” Whoa.

Instead of internetting with my usual verve, I have spent my precious procrastinatory time emailing with a certain bored recent appendicitis sufferer in PA and another certain bored law school student who should be studying for her Securities Regulation and Corporate Law finals in MN. GET BACK TO WORK, YOU. 

Anyway, it’s only gonna get more bonkers from here, so perhaps you and I will catch up this weekend, internet. Keep my seat warm for me.

ATTENTION, EVERYONE.

THE PAST TENSE OF THE VERB LEAD IS LED.

LEAD, AS IN, “YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER.” YOU LED THAT HORSE TO WATER.

YES, THE METAL, LEAD, IS PRONOUNCED THE SAME WAY. BUT THE METAL, LEAD, IS A DIFFERENT WORD THAN THE PAST TENSE OF THE VERB LEAD, WHICH IS LED.

I am a good person

I’m an attractive person

I am a talented person

{Busy day. Meetings, boredom, head explosions, beautiful pictures of Liz Taylor, theater tickets. Maybe tomorrow I’ll actually be productive AND social, neither of which I accomplished very well today.}

I took a Mucinex-D and some Advil and ordered and inhaled a turkey burger. I watched the really excellent Wizard of Oz episode of Scrubs, which I had not seen.

I spent an hour on the phone with my donation coordinator, planning the future of my robust yet ladylike bone marrow, which I will be giving away sometime soon.

I spent an hour on the phone (Facetime!) with my parents, rehashing bits of my first phone call and talking about packing and the weekend. During this, I watched the end of Idol on mute and was not disappointed.

I packed for the weekend.

I feel sort of like crapola, but I am preparing myself to ignore that tomorrow and have a fun trip. Which is to say, sorry I did not pay attention to you tonight, Internet. And sorry I will not pay attention to you much this weekend. You will probably get some shorty posts and photos, and I’ve got some 25s/25ds queued up. That should tide you over, right?


NO BOOBS TONIGHT, SORRY.

This is not a blog about American Idol. I just had so many FEELINGS about jowly whatshisface. Do not worry. He/it will not become a major focal point of my ramblings.